ONE!

        My confession is that I am jealous of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE! :)  I understand that people's lives are all differrent in one way or another but it seems like everyone else gets exactly what I want, when I want it. For example:  People who get pregnant and don't want them, have them, and ruin their babies lives by doing drugs while pregnant or other stupid shit like that, because they don't care. Or just not keeping the baby. People who get personal changes (peircings, tattoos, etc.), that I want eventually want but haven't got yet because of money issues at the time. People who go to college. People who own their own business. People who do so much more with their lives than I ever will.

       When I start living my life, I will always be last at everything. I know it's not a race but I feel like I'm already old news, not cared about, not even second best. I feel like my life is just wasted. I feel like I'm the only one who's waiting for my life to shit itself out of the ass hole that is the world.
       All I do everyday is get up, go to work, come home, go to sleep. I wish that I could be brave, strong, and intelligent. I wish that I could find what everyone else has found in themselves. I always try to put a smile on my face to mask the fact that I'm always sad. I definately need anti-depressants because I hate my life.
                                            HOW'S THAT FOR A CONFESSION!

P.S. None of my hate for life comes from or is produced by my man. He is and will always be my reason for being. I love him with all of my heart even if I cry about myself. I'm a sad-sack! It's not your fault!